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MEDICAL EDUCATION

FOR 1,500,678 CME POINTS, CAN YOU SPEND THREE HOURS POINTLESSLY ANSWERING BANAL MCQ’S TO GET TO THE DIAGNOSIS QUICKER THAN QUINCY? WE THOUGHT NOT.

Here we offer you monthly guides to help you improve your clinical practice.

For our archive please click here

This week, we teach you how to put on a plaster cast. Pay attention at the back:

  • Remember, your patients will be in pain. PO paracetamol usually suffices, failing this give them a swig of whiskey from sister’s hip flask and retrieve the departmental stick for the patient to chew on during manipulation of the limb.
  • If in doubt, practice on a squirrel first.
Ouch. He tripped on his nuts.

If you can’t get access to a squirrel, then use a hedgehog that has recently been run over:

Get the plaster on quick before they roll into a ball.

3. Once you are confident in your capacity to place on a cast, set yourself up. Firstly, get an attractive assistant with big hands to help reduce the fracture.

People with small hands should become paediatricians.

Then all you have to do is PUUUULLLLLLLLL!!!!!!

4. Apply padding liberally. Remember, this will stop sores forming and any whinging before the patients has left the department. So, take your time and get his right. However, some legs have more ‘natural’ padding than others, so in some cases (as in the illustration) totally ignore this or the patient will get compartment syndrome

If he / she has broken one of their ‘big bones’ then be tight with the comfort padding. Its an austerity measure!

5. Apply just the right amount of plaster of Paris in the form of a back slab.

This volume of plaster would be adequate for a hamster with a bad sprain, but not an adult with a Colle’s fracture.

6. For a finishing touch, give the patient a set of crutches but don’t tell them how to use them properly (see instructional video below) and watch them walk out of your department on their affected limb. Failing that, do give them an ‘extra’ such as some embarrassing footwear that makes it look like one leg is congenitally shorter than the other.

7. As always, please forget to clean up after yourself.

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